Self Awareness attracts same

"If a man can stay silent, although he strongly disagrees, shows strength in himself, his beliefs and unyielding self awareness." ~Me

A Memory Holds On To Your Heart ...

Every time I look at this photo I feel safe. I can't explain it but life just seems more simple, calm and real when I get lost in its clouds and endless blue road.  It describes me perfectly.

It will probably always be my favorite image I've taken to date.  It keeps me happy and sane when life's drama can get so overwhelming.

Something once . . .

. . . was written for me. A portion . . . 


"She is hope, a lion's roar
And in our reverie, she does soar
So in her, I can see
Flakes of dreams pouring reality"

Solitude is my Guide

Listen as the wind blows
From across the great divide
Voices trapped in yearning
Memories trapped in time
The night is my companion
And solitude my guide
Would I spend forever here
And not be satisfied

Lyrics from *Possession* by Sarah McLachlan ... seems to say it all

You love me now but You'll hate me soon

It seems to be an ongoing cycle. It's a delight that won't be denied.

Blank, Empty, Lost without a Thought

I purchased a blank canvas tonight.  I hung it thinking if I saw it on my wall, ideas would flow down upon me.  I thought about the colors, I imagined the vision, I listened intently to . . . absolutely nothing.

My first attempt at an actual painting.  I've wondered over the years if I have within me, somewhere deep in there, his talent.  I had hoped that if he gave me nothing else, he at least had the courtesy of bestowing that trait.  After all, I received so many others.  Many of which I would gladly give back.

I never thought in a million years I would be taking and creating such images as this.  Creativity is something I will never take for granted. 

An Old Black and White tells the story

I should have realized it was all wrong.  Nothing but a drift in the wrong direction, nothing but a poor fit.  An indication - the photo shoot simply a perspective.

Atlanta was never right.

Those We Do Not Fear

I did not create the art you see here.  I simply captured it from a wall in Phoenix.  Something about it speaks loudly yet whispers softly and stirs confusion within me.

Below was written for a friend who dealt with the obsessive thoughts of another human being...something no one should have to deal with or tolerate alone.


Those We Do Not Fear

I have seen your face before. You are no one special to me, no one who I care to care about nor your words you've chosen as an attempt to force feed.  You are not unique to me.  The past has been full of defectives such as yourself and those who gather around your narcistic sucking aurora. When will you finally realize that you are but an empty shell to me?  And that you, yourself, have created your own demons who haunt you by simply being abhorrent you.  Go run to your groupies and tell them I said hello.  Be sure to mention they are being played as fools.  Manipulated by you who believes you are deserving of my full attention.  All the while you wait and pass your time by making do with fools' conversations, and deep inside your heart you wish to reach my level of humanity.  A level you will never ascend to.  You are simply not worth my time, my thoughts, my worry nor my being.  You are just you.  I am just me, without you, content and safe far from you.

Finally . . .

... I am home.

Let the words flow, let the lens capture ... free the demons

"Weakened by a state of hate, as every page whispers your fate."

"Creativity releases the demons from the room within the mind."

Float to Safety. . .

The Prelude

From a throne made of exceptional morality
She sat silently observing a forbidden life
A new viability worth risking and accepting
The secret to the survival of her lost direction

Freeing herself from a servitude of desperation
She floated down, softly landing in her new life
A life filled with old burdened souls of intolerance
Of oblivious minds and hearts searching for absolution

~Me, 2006

Home is Where my Heart will Always Be . . .

Rows and rows of the most beautiful flowers I had ever seen... strong enough to stand higher than a barn and giving enough to share its seeds...

And now...

Only pretty enough to look at.

A Photograph that Tells the Story

A Self Created Deuce

In my world of intolerable self detachment
I sit dispassionately as I fight to regain morality
Trying to pass judgment on a life of choices
This is how I have chosen to pass my time of error.

You will not be my prophet criticizing my wrong doings
I need not a man to point out deformity and shortcomings
So I'll wish nothing but the most honorable alternatives
To maintain a continuing power to sustain and carry on.

I can survive through what the world makes of me
Hold in my hand the hearts and souls of weak minds
And crush my insecurities by measuring their inadequacies
I will be the person I've sought out in no other.

The Shot that Got Away

Legs parted and thoughts of entrancement zipped to the near miss of...what...through these memories only a vision of what could have happened if the hand grazed... sweetness is the taste of what has been thought never to have become...no more guilty remnants, no more feeling of constraint...would it ever be, would it ever want to be, but should it ever be? Nothing to come from it other than...knowing now it was at his fingertips makes the wanted more desirable and yet further distant, now guarded. A fantasy metamorphosed from that moment, brought about by a glance, by the touch that never awarded by itself.

Legs parted and thoughts carried away now built up to a mountain of self pleasure...thinking of that near miss of...what...was needed...begging now of the cold harsh chains...no emotional guilt restrains...dripping of...dripping between lips...what leads to the zipped pointed black heels...slip of the hand, slip of the tongue, stroke of fingertips. To the ground...the wrists are...the cold hard surface is where the warmth surrenders to words of...dripping, kissing, restraining...new strength, bruises of desire from the shot that got away.

~Me

Rain just happens . . .

"Weather is a great metaphor for life - sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad, and there's nothing much you can do about it but carry an umbrella." ~Terri Guillemets

The Mothman

Once there was this girl who fell head over heals for an artist who believed he was as good as God. Those around him believed he was equal to God because he told them he created art like God.

A View From Self Proclaimed Grandeur

We hate the most in ourselves in what we see-

We deal with only what we can understand-

We blame others when we cannot face the mirror-

Then hide behind a band wagon of starry eyed followers.

Such a weak person turns and points a blackened finger

Criticizing everyone else who carries on contentedly.

We are given but one life to live as we choose and

Stronger willed hearts loose sight of hypocrites.

Inflated egos plan tyrannical attempts of reckoning

Simply because they believe they can do no wrong,

But keep in mind, feeble attacks at another's character

Show the world a true face of pretentious narcissism.

The Photo Shoot that Started it All

My very first model photo shoot was with Kerriana in Atlanta in 2005. Although I was not a newbie at dealing with models, this time I was on the opposite side of the lens.

Hot lights attached with a clamp light from Home Depot, cigarettes in my house for the first time (I don't smoke and didn't allow it in my house- all in the name of art), a very trusting model when the light became loose and almost fell on her head and my very first attempt at lighting in general.

I think it went very, very well.

Life takes on Many Faces

Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can change your life forever. Yet sometimes its the largest. I moved across the country in the early part of 2008 for nothing less than a "change". I finally thought my life was on a track that would warp me into the person I wanted to be, thought I could be, desired to be... and then, Life flipped a 180 on me....

One day, not long after, I realized I was already the person I thought I could be but sometimes it takes a force stronger to slap us and make us realize we have in ourselves to be that person in its entirety. It enables us to tolerate others' short comings, to love few, to accept many and carry on beside those we meet every day on a level of sanity. I know now, I am who I always wanted to be...

Whether or not you chose to follow, this blog will be a place to share that person - on my time and in my own fashion...